Sex addiction

The concept of and term for “sex addiction” was the invention of an enterprising psychologist named Patrick Carnes who, in 1983, at the height of the ‘war on drugs’, decided to attach sex to fashionable and lucrative research into drug addiction. In doing so, Carnes created a whole new category of “addict” and has since set up dozens of expensive clinics and programs offering “cures”. All he did, in fact, was repackage older notions of the “nymphomaniac” and the “sex maniac” and dressed it up with a bit of scientific-sounding psycho-speak, but his book was a bestseller and countless people suddenly became convinced they had a problem. Fashionable people were all asking themselves, ‘Am I a sex addict?’ Men who couldn’t get to sleep at night without masturbating suddenly wondered if they had a ‘problem’ that needed treatment. In hard-nose scientific circles, however, the idea of sexual addiction is far from an established fact and is not regarded as a defineable clinical condition. A solid body of opinion questions whether there is really any such thing outside of socially constructed assumptions.

Indeed, when we look closely at Carnes’ work, it emerges that there is no definition of “sex addiction” that does not depend upon judgments made about “behaviour outside of social norms…” That is, a so-called “sex addict” is horny beyond what is socially normal. That’s the key factor in diagnosis. But does this make it a disease? Does this mean it requires treatment? Otherwise, people with real addictions (drugs, alcohol) and other psychological disorders are sometimes “hypersexual” (i.e. exceptionally horny) but there is no proven connection between their horniness and their other problems. People who are compulsive about sex will be compulsive about everything. They’re just compulsive. There’s no special category of sexual compulsive. And might it not be that such people are simply free of societal inhibitions and their exceptional horniness is, in fact, “natural” and what we regard as “normal” is not?

The whole idea is dubious at best. What is evident is that some people are very, very horny. They need sex much more frequently than other (normal?) people, and it means much more to them than it does to other (normal?) people. Yes, sometimes they are so horny it becomes an inconvenience in their life. They might find a conventional marriage unsatisfying, for example. Their need for sex might tempt them to take stupid risks in life, such as sleeping with the wrong people. If they can’t find sexual partners, they are likely to be very unhappy and frustrated. They might have trouble concentrating on other things. They might begin to wish they weren’t so horny. That is where Dr Carnes steps in to convince them he can cure their “addiction” in exchange for large sums of money. It’s a very old scam: convince someone they’re sick and then sell them the cure. If someone has a stronger libido than most people, and its socially inconvenient, Dr Carnes wants to convince them its an illness. Hyper-horniness is thus pathologized.

All of this is relevant to us because Code d’ Odalisque is an arena for adult play specifically for the hyper-horny. It also explores obsession and fetishism and many of the things that constitute “sex addiction.” A man purchases an odalisque because he has an exceptional drive to phallic pleasure and he needs a compliant slave to use in order to slake his thirst; nothing else will do. A woman becomes an odalisque because she loves sex, loves cock, loves being used. She loves these things so much – far more than most women - she wants to devote a portion of her life dedicated just to these loves. Slavekeepers and odalisques are both the type of people who might commonly be labelled as “sex addicts.” Odalisque slave play is a game and a lifestyle for such “sex addicts.” And addiction, obsession, monomania are themes of play because they are all expressions of LUST. To lust is to be obsessed, fixated, addicted. What is it that is being labelled “addiction” here? Lust. Need. These emotions and urges are the very substance of play in Code d’ Odalisque.

We therefore resist the idea that our “addiction” is an illness that requires medical treatment. We prefer to see it as an itch that requires scratching, a need that requires fulfilling. This is the whole purpose of odalisque slavery and the Slavekeeper/odalisque relationship. Odalisque slavery is inherently sexual. The Master/slave dynamic is inherently sexual. People get into this lifestyle because they have a serious need – a compulsion – to explore and enjoy and indulge in sexual pleasure – a need that goes beyond those opf “normal” people. That’s why a Keeper needs a slave and why a slave needs a Keeper. The whole relationship is based in mutual sexual addiction. We embrace our “addiction” and play with it. The joy of indulgence and nights of debauchery is all the therapy we need.

This is not to make light of real psychological problems that cause people real suffering. There are unhappy people who are compelled to masturbate violently and self-destructively in public, for example. That’s a job for a psychologist. There are people who compulsively self-mutilate out of pathological sexual shame due to a strict religious upbringing. That’s a job for a psychologist. But there’s a creeping tendency these days to pathologize what is, in fact, perfectly normal behaviour. People aren’t sad anymore, they’re “depressed”. Kids aren’t badly behaved and unruly, they have some “attention deficit disorder.” Similarly, if someone is super-horny and feels the pull of lust far stronger than most, if they constantly crave sex and think about sex and sleep around, they’re a “sex addict”. It’s a convenient excuse. A woman keeps going to nightclubs and picks up strangers and says, “I’m sick. I’ve got an addiction.” Take some responsibility. Its not a sickness, it’s a lifestyle choice! We need to keep the line between normal and pathological very clear, and “normal” should, in any case, be a very broad and diverse category indeed. It is disturbing that things are moving in the opposite direction.

Code d’ Odalisque is a lifestyle choice. Healthy, responsible, consenting adults choose to indulge in a role playing game/lifestyle on the theme of sexual slavery. People attracted to such a game/lifestyle are, of course, prime candidates for a “sex addict” diagnosis. The reason the game/lifestyle takes the form of Master/slave is because that is the relationship that explores obsession, fixation, addiction. Specifically, the focus of fixation in odalisque slave play is the phallus. It is all cock-centred. The man is the hyper-phallic male. The woman is the cock-obsessed slave. Play takes the form of “cock worship”, a devoted fetishism. These “addictions” are amplified, shaped and explored. Its certainly more fun than the middle-class santizing that happens at Dr Carnes’ clinics. Don’t be duped into believing you’re sick when really you are just different. Vive la difference! Don't let anybody tell you that needing sex three times a day is a disease. It might be inconvenient, but its not a disease. Be proud to be a nympho! There have always been nymphos. Let us hope there always will be and they're not counselled and medicated out of existence. Scratch the itch!