Monday, January 6, 2014

Overmistress - a discussion

Questions and answers on the role of the Overmistress under Code d' Odalisque. 

Q: Why does a slave have to have an Overmistress as well as a Master?

A: It is not essential for an odalisque to have an Overmistress. But she may if she wishes. It is up to her.

Q: I wouldn’t like my girl answering to an Overmistress as well as me. I expect my girl to answer only to me.

A: An Overmistress is not a Slavekeeper in any sense. An odalisque does not answer to her Overmistress. An Overmistress is not in charge of the slave. Her role is simply to protect the slave.

Q: Protect her from what? From her Master? I would object to that. As her Master, I expect to be in control.

A: You are in control. A slave answers to her Master. She doesn’t answer to her Overmistress. But an Overmistress acts as a type of friend and mentor. She doesn’t control the slave. She provides back-up support for the odalisque. It is a safety device. If the slave feels she needs it.

Q: But this Overmistress can interfere. I wouldn’t like that.

A: She only intervenes if the slave is in danger or is being mistreated. She shouldn’t interfere, as you put it. That is not her role. She is not a Slavekeeper. She is an older female who provides oversight and makes sure the slave is okay.

Q: But a slave would only want this oversight if she didn’t trust her Master. That’s no good. I object to that. I expect trust. Trust is submission.

A: Yes. An Overmistress is only back-up support. It doesn’t change the fact that a slave must trust her Master. But Code d’ Odalisque is designed with safety, consent and legality in mind at every stage. Some women might feel the need for that extra back-up support. In that case, she can choose to appoint an Overmistress. The Code puts the slave’s safety ahead of all other considerations. That’s how it should be.

Q: But it undermines the authority of the Slavekeeper.

A: Not at all. The Master/slave relationship remains intact. But an odalisque is a special type of slave. Let us keep that in mind. Here is a woman who – voluntarily – will give herself to a man to be used for sex. There are lots of things that could go wrong. The best way to protect against that is to have extra people involved. Experience shows that problems arise, when they do, in situations of isolation. If something goes wrong, the slave needs someone to turn to. The Code allows for formal arrangements to provide extra safety. If a woman is prepared to offer herself as a sexual slave for sexual use – which is a big deal – she is entitled to arrangements to ensure her safety and security.

Q: What sort of things could go wrong? What do you mean?

A: There are plenty of men who might abuse their power. There are plenty of cases of that.

Q: So you don’t trust Slavekeepers. You’d only need an Overmistress where there is no trust. And if there is no trust, then the slave shouldn’t be a slave at all. That’s how I see it.

A: But you might argue the same thing about slave contracts. If a slave trusts her Master why would she need a slave contract? Or you might say, in marriage, if you really love me and trust me you won’t need a pre-nup. But let’s be realistic. Marriages fail sometimes, which is why people take out the insurance of a pre-nup. And Slavemasters abuse their power sometimes, which is why slaves have contracts and why the Code allows for an odalisque to have an Overmistress. It is insurance. The fact is, once a woman is immersed in the slave role she often loses a strong sense of self. The odalisque’s life is for submissive women, anyway. Often, by nature, they are not inclined to stand up for themselves if they are being mistreated. An Overmistress is there to look after her. Not to interfere. It doesn’t undermine trust. It permits trust. If a woman has an Overmistress she will feel more secure and will be able to submit to her Master more fully, knowing that the Overmistress is there to make sure she won’t be harmed. Trust is all very well, but it is sensible to take precautions. As the Arab proverb says, "Trust in God, but tie up your camel first."

Q: But you assume that Masters are bad people. Slavemasters love and care for their slaves. If a man needs an Overmistress looking over his shoulder, maybe he is not fit to be a Slavemaster.

A: Be realistic. It is a power relationship. Sometimes some men abuse it. It happens. There are plenty of cases. Ideally, Slavemasters are sane, sensible, caring gentlemen. But that is the ideal, not the reality. We need to allow for the possibility that things might go wrong. Like what? Well, for example, some men might be tempted to prostitute their odalisque. That happens even among middle class swingers. Husbands start charging men to attend swinger’s parties where their wife is the main attraction. Making money from a sexual slave is a real temptation. An Overmistress would prevent this. An odalisque is not a whore. A Slavemaster is not a pimp. An Overmistress would provide the extra over-sight to ensure this and prevent a slave from being taken into whoredom.

Q: How does she do that?

A: She meets with the slave from time to time. She has access to the slave. And the slave can turn to her for help. Then the Overmistress would speak to the Slavemaster about it on behalf of the slave.

Q: I think I’d resent someone interfering like that.

A: Some men would. Some “doms” are authoritarian and want complete control. But an odalisque deserves extra protection. Odalisque slavery is non-violent but it is also intense. It is sexual submission. Sex is a powerful energy. The slave is used for intense sexual adventures and fantasies. Don’t underestimate it. You might think that because it is non-SM then it is “soft” and “vanilla”. But an odalisque is subject to constant, intense sexual use. Her Master can use her to explore quite extreme fantasies. Very sensibly, Code d’ Odalisque frames this within structures that help ensure it is safe, consensual and within the law. And so no one gets hurt. If a man won’t accept that a woman who gives herself to sexual slavery wants to feel secure and safe in her role, then he fails to understand the nature of odalisque slavery. It is an intense form of slavery. The woman’s need for safety and security is far more important than a Slavekeeper feeling peeved about an Overmistress “interfering”. Safety comes first. It comes before the Slavekeeper’s rights. Only in the context of safety and security can a woman truly surrender herself. So it is in the Keeper’s interests too. If a slave has an Overmistress then a Keeper can take play that much further because there is that extra safety device.

Q: But some Overmistresses might interfere…

A: That could happen. But then she would be a poor Overmistress. An Overmistress is not some dour old bitch who wants to kill people’s fun. She must know the limits of her role. She should only intervene when absolutely required. Mainly she just stays friends with the odalisque, gives her some company, makes her feel secure. An Overmistress also wants the odalisque to be used as an odalisque. She wants to see the odalisque used and fulfilled in her role. She wants the Master/slave relationship to go smoothly. In most cases, the Overmistress doesn’t really have much to do. She is just there in case. And in lots of cases, as I say, an Overmistress is not necessary. It depends.

Q: Depends on what? And who decides?

A: The slave decides. If she wants an Overmistress, then under the protocols and structures of Code d’ Odalisque she is entitled to have one. But it depends how she feels about what she is getting herself into. She might think to herself, “Wow. I’m going to be used as an object. I’m going to have my brains fucked out. Men are going to use me relentlessly. I’m going to be kept for sex. Maybe I need someone to be looking out for me in this.” That would be reasonable, wouldn’t it? Especially since a lot of Code play is very psychological. The slave can be trained into an obsessive monomania. We fuck her body, but it is a mind-fuck as well. Once she is involved, immersed, she may lose objectivity and not be able to defend herself from an abusive or dangerous situation. An Overmistress is an objective pair of eyes. But if a couple don’t plan on exploring sexual extremes then an Overmistress wouldn’t be required. Code d’ Ode is designed like that. You can use odalisque slave play to explore sexual extremes. Then the slave would benefit from the caring overview of an Overmistress.

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