Anti-depressants?

QUESTION: I have been playing odalisque games with an older woman and looking towards a serious Master/slave arrangement, but I discover she has been on anti-depressants for years. I am worried that because she is on medication then legally there are questions about her consent… 

You are right to be concerned. Mental health is a safety and a legal issue as well as raising questions about consent. The Code motto is: Consent. Safety. Legality. This issue touches upon all three of these imperatives.

In law consent is a minefield. In some places now a woman who has had even a drop of alcohol can claim that her judgment was impaired and her consent compromised. It is entirely conceivable that a case could arise where a woman lived as a slave in full consent but then claimed that her psych meds blurred her judgment and that the man took advantage of her sickness. So be careful. Men in Code d’ Odalisque must protect themselves from possible litigation or criminal charges by ensuring full and complete consent. If there is any question as to whether consent might be compromised by psychiatric medication then you would be best advised to not enter a Master/slave relationship with that woman. There are, though, many different types of medication for many different conditions and many different levels of dosage.

In general, people with psychiatric illness should not adopt the odalisque life. Depressed women should not go into occlusion to be treated as living sex dolls. Any woman who enters that lifestyle must be in full mental health - as well as the sex, there is lots of mind-fucking that can happen in odalisque slave play and slave training. Women who are mentally fragile should not be odalisques. For moral reasons, if not for legal ones as well, a man should not take a woman into slavery if he knows her to be mentally fragile or if he thinks the experience would be emotionally or psychologically beyond her.

Occlusion means living as a captive slave. Isolation. Only women who have aptitude for such a lifestyle should become odalisques. Women who need company and stimulation and who are prone to depression will be unsuitable. If a woman falls into depression during her time in occlusion, this strongly suggests she is not suited to the role. Any woman who has real aptitude for the role will thrive and find fulfillment in it.

All the same, mental illness ought not be exaggerated or stigmatized. It is common and many people live with it. Some people experience “winter blues” (S.A.D.) Some people – for metabolic reasons - function much better with a low dose of St John’s Wort or 10 ml of an SSRI every day. This sort of general or seasonal low-level depression – mild depression - is common and would not necessarily disqualify a woman from the odalisque’s role. Chronic and deep depression would. Everyone has ups and downs and some depression is entirely due to biochemical dispositions and is easily corrected with the new generation of psych drugs – it need not be regarded as a dire disability.

There is a problem with anti-depressants, though. Many of them squash sex drive. For obvious reasons, any drugs – legal or otherwise – that inhibit sexual response or render a person incapable of orgasm are contrary to the whole purpose of odalisque slavery which is inherently sexual. Any medication that effectively castrates or neuters a person has no place in Code d’ Ode.

It is a complex question. These days there is an epidemic of depression, bipolar disease, autism spectrum syndrome and so on. Generally, sex slave play – especially serious play – is only for people not suffering from psychological disorders. That is the simplest and safest policy to adopt. Mental health is a safety issue. Safety comes first.

Genres of Play

There are several distinct genres or styles of contemporary slave play. The picture above illustrates the difference between two of them: Gorean and Code d' Odalisque. The Gorean style, based on the novels of John Norman, invokes a world of rugged tribesmen and their captive slaves. Code d' Odalisque, on the other hand, is a system of slavery for the sophisticated urban gentleman.

Both of them are, of course, fantasies. Gorean in fact is explicitly drawn from fantasy fiction; Goreans adopt the manners and customs of a fictitious slavekeeping world and have turned it into a lifestyle. Code d’ Ode draws upon the historical models of odalisque slavery in cultures such as the Ottoman Empire and takes inspiration from the sensual fantasies of orientalist art and Victorian and Edwardian erotica.

Both of these styles stand in contrast to the so-called ‘Old Guard’ style which is the most common style where S&M is involved. It is based on models taken from the French revolution: dungeons, chains, whips, etc.

Code d’ Ode has more in common with Gorean slave play than with the ‘Old Guard’ (French Revolution) style. As the picture shows, though, the two systems are distinct and have different values and aesthetics. Note especially the difference in the Slavekeepers. These are two different visions of the dominant male. 

Against sado-masochism

The keynote of Code d’ Odalisque – in contrast to other existing forms of adult slave play – is that it is strictly non-violent. There are no sado-masochistic elements in Code d’ Odalisque. Indeed, an odalisque, by definition, is preserved from SM play. The odalisque lifestyle is for women who love sexual submission but who do not want to be subjected to pain, abuse and violence. This, in fact, was the very motive for the creation of Code d’ Odalisque – it responds to demand among a group of women who could not find men who understood the distinction between sexual submission and sado-masochism. These women wanted a lifestyle of sexual submission, serving a Master’s bed, but didn’t want to be whipped, slapped or beaten. They complained that, just because they were submissive, men automatically assumed they wanted to be treated like a punching bag. The original drafts of the rules and protocols of Code d’ Ode, first made in the 1990s, were written for this purpose. It is a code of adult slave play in which women can be submissive but are not subject to violence. It offers submissive women a system of sexual service but spares them from pain and erotic violence. The fact is that many sub women often fall victim to abusive and violent dominant men in their lives. Their search for fulfillment as a submissive will often lead them to men who enjoy sado-masochism. There, of course, sub women who enjoy sado-masochism. But there are plenty of sub women who don’t. Code d’ Ode offers them a non-SM alternative.

There is no argument with consensual sado-masochism. What consenting adults do to each other is up to them. Nevertheless, it is a point of concern that sado-masochism is the default position in contemporary slave play. You can see this on BDSM blogs and in associated pornography. It is in fact quite hard to find depictions of non-violent slave play. Almost universally on-line slave play is associated with whipping, beating, nipple torture and inflicting pain. Women are depicted beaten, bruised and agonized. Some people find this erotic. See, for example, this picture: 

There are men – and women too – who find this sort of thing a turn on. Women are flogged and brutalized; there is a certain sub-culture in which this is regarded as very erotic and where people who don’t regard it so are stigmatized as “vanilla”.

This is completely antithetical to slave play under Code d’ Odalisque. An odalisque is regarded as a rare treasure, not a piece of trash. They are objects of pleasure, not pieces of shit to be abused and tortured. Who ever treated slaves with such contempt anyway? Historically, even in the worst of periods, slaves were valuable items and no decent or profitable Slavetrader would scar and maim them – that would devalue his property. An odalisque – a dedicated pleasure slave – is a very expensive sort of slave. She must be preserved from violence and have her beauty respected and protected. The protocols of Code d’ Odalisque set out exactly what an odalisque can and cannot be used for. She is used for her Master’s hedonistic explorations, but he cannot use her for his sado-masochistic thrills. She is an inherently sexual slave but is protected from any form of sexual violence.

Women who become involved in odalisque slavery often report very bad experiences with sado-masochistic men earlier in their life. As submissive women they are often easily manipulated and intimidated by dom men and find themselves pushed into being used as pain slaves. They tell tales of being used by men – some with some serious unresolved psychological issues - who get a kick out of inflicting violence upon women. Code d’ Odalisque has a mission to such women. It offers them a safe haven.

Again: consensual S&M between adults is fine. It is not our thing, but whatever. All the same, violence ought not be the norm in contemporary erotic culture regardless of whether it is consensual. Frankly, men who need to beat up women for thrills have issues, but in a free country they can address those issues in private with any consenting partner if they like. Code d’ Ode is outside of all of that. Odalisques are slaves but they are cherished objects, kept in luxury to be used in hedonistic joy. There are no dungeons and whips and nipple clamps. It is specifically for submissive women who want a system of non-violent sexual slave play. It exists for such women. That is its hallmark, its reason for being. It offers a non-SM alternative to the ugly and violent pain-focused play that has come to extend right through the contemporary BDSM scene.

Fellatrice

Question: What is a fellatrice? 

Answer: A fellatrice is a woman who is expert at fellatio. The term is used in Code d’ Odalisque to refer to a sex slave who has nominated this as a specialization. A fellatrice specializes in providing oral pleasure to her Master and to what other men he puts over her. She is, that is to say, an expert cocksucker.

Odalisques under Code d’ Ode are entitled to nominate up to two sexual specializations. Fellatrice is one of many possibilities. When a woman chooses to become an odalisque, if she enjoys or excels at giving oral pleasure to men she can nominate ‘fellatrice’ as one of her specialities. She will then be known as a ‘fellatrice’. The title signals to her Master that she is ready and willing to engage in a lot of oral sex and it promises, moreover, that she is good at it – it is her area of expertise. Her Master knows that she is a fellatrice – he knows that he can expect and demand some excellent cocksucking from his slave. Of course, any odalisque should be able to give a creditable blowjob – a fellatrice is an odalisque who specialises in it. As every man knows, some women are better at it than others. A fellatrice is a woman who is an expert; it is the sexual act at which she excels.

A fellatrice should treat cocksucking as an art form. She should be trained, well practiced and expert in various techniques including, if desired, deep throating, mouth fucking and other more strenuous forms of oral play. She should be familiar with and expert in the whole range of female-to-male oral sex. Her mouth, lips, throat and tongue are the natural assets of a fellatrice.

As it happens, fellatrice is the most common of the recognized specializations in Code d’ Ode and is also – by a great good fortune – the most commonly nominated specialization among odalisques.

Can couples own an odalisque?

Question: Can couples own odalisques? 

Answer: An odalisque must be owned by a man. She must have a Master to whom she answers. He owns her. She is his property. The Master/slave relationship is central. An odalisque is dedicated to cock worship; odalisque slavery is therefore essentially heterosexual. It is male dom/female sub. There is, however, nothing preventing a man from sharing his odalisque with his wife or girlfriend. So while an odalisque cannot be owned by a couple, she can be used and enjoyed by a couple. In that case, she is owned by the man and he shares her with his partner. If a couple decide that they would like an odalisque to play with for their sexual enjoyment, the man acquires the odalisque, the odalisque answers to him, but she is enjoyed by both the man and the woman. An odalisque, it should be remembered, is essentially a human sex toy. She is a toy to be used and enjoyed sexually. It is perfectly possible for a couple to use such a toy for their sexual adventures. But an odalisque is a slave, and a slave needs a Master. A slave can only have one owner. Someone must take responsibility for her. Under Code d’ Ode this person must be a man. He can then share her (subject to her contractual limitations) either with other men or with other women.

Very often men who think they have need of an odalisque will try to coax their wife into playing the role. This is all very well, but the role of wife and the role of odalisque are very different. A better solution – if the wife is agreeable – is for the man to acquire an odalisque to be used for extra-marital adventures, or for use by both he and his wife. Can couples own odalisques? No. Only a man can own an odalisque. But an odalisque is a fine play-thing for couples looking for threesomes and sexual adventure. She should be thought of as the man’s sexual toy – a toy he happily shares with his wife. Many different arrangements are possible within these parameters.

Ideologies

Although it might not be immediately obvious, much contemporary slave play and much of the dom/sub subculture has a definite ideological background – especially in the American context. It is an ideology that affirms and celebrates what are deemed natural types of dominance and submission. This defies the assumptions of ‘political correctness’ which are based upon an ideology of egalitarianism. Specifically, much male dom/fem sub play – such as Gorean slavery – is based on the idea that men are naturally rulers over women; men are the dominant gender, females the submissive. You only need to read the philosophical works of John Norman, creator of the Gor system, to appreciate this. He is an advocate of a type of Nieztchean law-of-the-wild philosophy in which the strong and brave can and should rule over the weak and frail. It is a type of social Darwinism – survival of the fittest. And men, by nature, are stronger and braver than women. The fullest expression of this law of nature is for man to rule over woman and for woman to serve man. In this view, politically-correct egalitarianism is a violation and denial of nature and allows the weak to prosper at the expense of us all. Men are reduced to weaklings and women are masculinized, to the detriment of both. In earlier historical versions of this same ideology, survival of the fittest was attributed to skin-color and race: the white race is naturally superior and has a natural right to rule over the black races – to pretend otherwise is to bring peril to society as a whole because the natural order has been violated.

Code d’ Odalisque – a revival of odalisque slavery in a modern, consensual form – is not based in this same ideology. It has quite different ideological underpinnings. John Norman’s Gor novels are set in a barbaric tribal world, a frontier world of naturalism. Code d’ Ode belongs, instead, to a world of urban sophistication. Instead of celebrating the brave hunter type, Code d’ Ode is about the pursuit of pleasure and celebrates a luxurious hedonism. The whole reason for the Master/slave relationship in Code d’ Ode is to facilitate sexual exploration. The Slavemaster is not a rugged warrior, he is a sophisticated urban trader who, secure in his wealth, wants to enjoy the decadent delights of a female sexual servant. For her part, the slave is not subservient because, as a woman, she is a natural inferior; she serves because she has a special calling to do so. There is no ideological imperative that men should rule over women, per se. Men are not necessarily superior to women. It is not regarded as the “way of nature”. Sexual slave play under Code d’ Ode is unashamedly decadent. It is a lifestyle of the wealthy and decadent. It is male dom/fem sub but only because this allows for a certain order of sexual delight. The philosophical background to Code d’ Ode is enlightened hedonism, not rugged naturalism.

In principle, men and women are equals under Code d’ Odalisque. Certainly, free men and free women are equals. They don’t live by the law of the jungle – they are modern, urban, sophisticated people. An odalisque is subservient because that is her calling, her character – she is not subservient merely because she is a woman. Code d’ Ode does not subscribe to the ideology that says that all women should serve all men because women are inherently inferior creatures. That is not the basis for odalisque slavery. And nor, of course, is it based on any racial theories and distinctions. Instead, it is based in the idea that, in a world of leisure and plenty, a gentleman ought to be able to own a cockslave for his personal enjoyment. And, in such a world, there are certain women who find fulfillment in such a role. There is no political judgment that insists that man ruling over woman is the ‘natural way’. This is one of the things that makes Code d’ Ode different to other genres and styles of consensual slavery. It does not have a political sub-text. It is certainly politically incorrect; the whole idea of a female sexual servant is as un-feminist as you can get! But its background philosophy is not based in the idea that men are naturally above women. The Code itself explains that there are some types of pleasure and some excesses of erotic adventure that can only be found in a Master/slave relationship. That is the reason why odalisque slavery exists; it is a vehicle for calculated hedonism, not a statement about the natural leadership of the male of the species.

High heels

Question: High heels are sexy. Why can’t odalisques wear high heels?

Answer: Yes, high heels are sexy. They come in and out of fashion but in contemporary Western society they are persistently associated with sexiness. The root of this seems to be because they denote an element of female submission. A woman in high heels is relatively immobile. She can’t easily run away. High heels are restrictive in this way. By extension, high heels are a sign of sexual availability. If a woman can’t easily run away, she is therefore available, easy prey. Such associations explain why high heels are common attire for prostitutes and why they also feature in soft and hard pornography. High heels are associated with prostitutes because they signal availability. In porn women will often be seen stark naked but wearing ridiculously tall high heels or platforms. These signal that she can’t walk away. They restrict her mobility. She is going nowhere.

For the same reason, high heels have been historically worn by concubines and other submissive women. Unwieldly, impractical and awkward footwear prevents a submissive woman from moving around with ease. There is some evidence that odalisques in the Ottoman Empire sometimes wore platform shoes as a restrictive type of footwear.

In Code d’ Ode, however, odalisques are barefoot. Barefoot and naked. In this case it is the lack of clothing and footwear that acts to restrict her movement. Without shoes and clothes an odalisque cannot go far. Some men find barefooted women sexually attractive; bare feet are a sexual signal. In that case, bare feet signal helplessness, submission, immobility. This is the case in Code ‘ Ode. That is, in Code d’ Ode, the barefootedness of the slave – rather than any particular restrictive footwear – is the mode of restriction. Barefeet, too, are emblematic of submission. Indeed, in Code d’ Ode, freewomen wear shoes, slaves do not. Shoes in general are a sign of the freewoman, of mobility. In this context, high heels are seen as signifying the sexually lose freewoman, the slut.

The parameters of slave play in Code d’ Odalisque are defined by contrasts and distinctions between (1) the slave, (2) the slut and (3) the whore. Sluts and whores, of course, are both freewomen. Sluts give sex away free. Whores are for hire. Slaves are neither sluts nor whores. In Code d’ Ode slave play it is important to maintain these careful distinctions. It is important, for example, not to treat a slave as a whore. This includes not dressing her like a whore. Slaves should not be dressed up as prostitutes.

For these reasons, slaves – under Code d’ Ode – should not wear high heels. Shoes in general are a mark of a freewoman. Slaves are naked and barefoot. And high heels are a mark of either the whore or the slut – the sexually available freewoman. High heels are sexy, yes, but it is the sexiness of the whore or the slut. Whores and sluts are sexy, of course. But they should not be confused with slaves. Code d’ Ode is about slaves. A slave is not a whore or a slut. If you want to enjoy the sexiness of women in high heels, do so with a whore or a slut. But it is inappropriate for an odalisque. Similarly, an odalisque is not a worker; women dressed as French maids are sexy too, but it is wrong to dress an odalisque in this way because it is important to maintain the distinction between odalisque and domestic worker (or low slave, memlook.)

There are some types of attire and some types of fantasy play that are inappropriate for odalisques. High heels are not for odalisques. They signal the sexually available freewoman instead. Sexy, yes, but not part of slave play.